Homemade Films
by Relyob
Summary: InGame: Takes place when Selphie is filming everybody at the end of the game when the credits are rolling. Ever wondered what was said between them all and why Zell got so cracked up when he was choking? Well here's where to find out! OneShot,completed.


_**Homemade Films**_

The entire ordeal was over. Ultimecia had been defeated! The world was at peace once again and so, Balamb Garden had arranged a huge celebration party especially for the Children of Fate and everyone else who had helped out during the Sorceress reign. Wanting to cherish the memories of the party, Selphie had decided to bring her own video camera to the party.

Switching it on and turning it so that it was facing her, she recognised the green light on the side of the machine which indicated that it was recording. _Hmm.._ "Aha!" She looked around, "All good to go.." Spotting Quistis and Irvine not too far away she lifted the video camera to her eyes and began to record them.

"Watch this." Irvine grinned at Quistis as one of his all time favourite songs began to play. Still grinning, he jiggled his hips and swung his arms. Winking at the, now 'Instructor Quistis' he performed a tiny spin much to her disapproval.

She stared at him. Then backed away slowly, slightly afraid. "You're embarrassing me Irvine." Quistis said, taking a sip of her drink.

"Ahh come on Quistis!" Irvine laughed, "We saved the world, lighten u-"

"Quistis!" Selphie called to her friend, still recording all that was happening. "You're on camera!"

"Oh, hey Selphie!" Quistis smiled, giving her friend a short wave. "How ar-" She stopped when she seen a certain somebody's head covering her face. "Irvine, I was speaking."

Irvine looked at her. "Aww wee Quisty Wuisty's feeling all left out. C'mere!" Taking hold of her shoulder he pulled her close to him so that they were both in view on Selphie's camera. Irvine gave a wave, "Selph, hey!"

Selphie grinned from where she was standing when she seen an aggravated Quistis trying to push Irvine away from her. She tried multiple times but failed. Finally Selphie seen her put most of her strength into one final push and shove the six foot cowboy wannabe off her. Selphie chuckled watching this take place through the video camera, "Nice one Quistis!"

"Aww Quistis!" Irvine called after her when she didn't respond he looked at Selphie motioning to her with his head to Quistis. "She seems angry..."

"Ahh well!" The happy go lucky Selphie just laughed it off as she followed Quistis with the camera. _Hmm talking to Cid..._

Quistis made her way from Irvine to Headmaster Cid after having enough of his antics. Firstly, he was clutching onto her shoulder with all his might because it began to hurt after only a few seconds, secondly, his size eleven feet were stepping on hers which was very painful and thirdly, the stench of his cologne was making her feel sick. Swearing that he had used about fifty bottles of Galbadian Delique, she greeted the Headmaster. "Hello Sir."

"Oh Quistis!" Cid smiled, swishing his alcoholic beverage in one hand. "Are you enjoying yourself?"

"Ahh yes." Quistis returned the smile. "Sir, I just wanted to thank you again for giving me my Instructor's licence again..."

Cid nodded, "Not at all Quistis! You never should have lost it in the first place."

"Thank you again Sir, it just... It means so much to me that you would give me another chance. How can I ever repay you Headmaster?" Quistis asked.

Cid just nodded. He seemed uninterested as he merely changed the subject. "Now is not the time for this Quistis. Just enjoy yourself! Is that young Selphie I see over there?" Peering over Quistis' shoulder, Cid smiled to the petit girl and raised his glass to her.

Selphie grinned.

Quistis also turned for a moment. Smiling at Selphie she turned her attention back to the Headmaster. "But really Sir, could you tell me... Why it was taken off me in the first place? I know I wasn't the best of Instructors... But..."

"Ahh Quistis." Cid tucked a strand of his thick hair behind his ear and looked to the floor. Scratching his head he found an escape boat from this awkward conversation when he set eyes upon his wife, Edea.

Selphie followed Cid's gaze with her camera. There stood their Matron. She was dressed all in dark. Her black dress clinging to her figure and her black, strappy, high heeled shoes making her look even taller. Her hair was now down straight, it was how Selphie vaguely remembered; nearly reaching her bottom.

She walked towards Cid as he took her hand into his own. She gave Quistis a polite nod. "Ahh Edea!" Cid cooed, looking at her. "I'd like you to meet Quistis! Or should I say... Instructor Quistis Trepe!" Cid looked at each of them as the two females laughed.

"Cid..." Edea said placing her hand on his chest, "We have already met.. Remember?"

"No... I don't..." He looked to the floor. "It must be this drink getting to me." When he looked up again, large shadow had cast upon both himself and Edea.

Irvine stood before them, smiling. He politely lifted his hat off to Edea, the woman who raised him as a child and bowed to the unusual couple. "Ahh Matron, Cid. How ya'll doing?" He winked at Edea, "And might I add Matron, you're looking mighty fine!"

Edea laughed, shaking her head. "Always the flirt, isn't that right Cid? Remember him as a child."

Cid nodded. "Chasing after young Selphie!"

"HEY!" Selphie shouted to the small group. The four 'friends' turned to Selphie and seeing a distressed look on her face, her knight in shining armour, Irvine, came to her rescue. "Irvy my arms are sore..." She said looking at him.

"Here gimme that." Irvine took the camera from Selphie. As he was fumbling around with it, Selphie swiped his hat from his head and hopped over to Quistis. "Hmm.. Is this right?" He asked as he had never used a video camera before in his life.

Selphie began to indicate with her hands for him to turn the camera because both herself and Quistis were appearing sideways on the screen according to Irvine. "Oh now I see..." He turned it. "Ahh your back to normal!" He waved to them, "Give us a wave girls!"

Selphie waved to the camera whereas Quistis looked slightly embarrassed, looking to the floor.

_Oooh! _Seeing some female SeeDs in the corner of the room alone, caught Irvine's attention. He shouted to them, "Hey ladies! Give me a wave!!" They all waved to him as he returned the gesture. _I'm too good... _Still looking through the screen of the camera he screamed when suddenly an angry Selphie appeared in front of him.

"Irvine!" She shouted, shaking her head. "Sheesh I can't believe you!" Walking beside her friend, Selphie said "C'mon Quistis let's go away from that man-slut."

Quistis weakly replied with an, "..Okay."

Irvine trotted behind the two women muttering apologies.

Completely ignoring him, Selphie grabbed onto Quistis' arm and pulled her towards one of their other friends who had helped save the world. That was none other than the hotdog lover, "ZELL! Look Quistis there's Zell!" She pointed towards one of the circular tables beside them where Zell Dincht was choking down on all the hotdogs he could grab. Selphie pushed Quistis towards him. "Go!"

"Huh?" Quistis turned to Selphie, "What do you want me to do?"

"Look!" Selphie whispered. "...Isn't that ... The Library Girl!"

Sure enough, it was Zell's secret object of desire, The Library Girl, sitting beside him as he munched on his hotdogs. She was smiling but looked slightly disturbed by Zell.

Irvine took this as a moment for him to blackmail Zell if the need ever come. Still armed with Selphie's camera he zoomed in on Zell's face as bits of hotdog clung to his face and flew everywhere as he ate. _Heheheh..._

Suddenly, a distressed look came about Zell's face and he began to search for a drink of some sort. Upon grabbing a glass he slammed a hotdog of the table and with his free hand made it clear that he was obviously choking on one of the many hotdogs he had mauled. "MMMPH!! MMMFPH!!"" Zell shouted everywhere.

Selphie and Quistis came quickly to the rescue. The Library Girl even joined in for a few seconds before stopping and just staring at Zell. The three started to pat his back to get the hotdog to come up again but then.. Selphie started to go a little overboard, clearly whacking Zell's back with all her might. Quistis soon followed just for the fun of it. "GUYS! STOP!!" Zell was shouting but neither Quistis nor Selphie took any heed. He started to shake his head. There whacking was seriously hurting him. "IT'S OUT!" They still whacked his back.

Feeling a sudden rage coming from Zell, Selphie and Quistis immediately stopped. Selphie peered into his face, "Are you okay now?" He didn't say anything. "Well he's not choking. Good job Quistis! Are patting was excellent.. I think we should become doctors! Tee hee!" When Zell still sat there in silence, Selphie peered into his face once again. Quistis even came down from his back to look. "Zell...?"

Very slowly, Zell turned to look at them. His back still stinging like mad he unleashed his fury. Teeth gritted he said quietly, "When I said stop... I meant..." He took a deep breath then screamed into the two girl's faces, "STOP!!"

Selphie and Quistis gently backed away from Zell... They were both frightened. "We were just trying to help..." Selphie whispered but immediately regretted ever saying anything.

Zell immediately jumped from his chair, "TO HELL... 'YOU WERE JUST TRYING TO HELP'!! DON'T LIE TO ME!"

"AHHH!" Selphie and Quistis both screamed running from Zell.

He looked around clearly frustrated and wanting to release some more anger on someone but everyone had dispersed. "Come on! I'll take on every one of you!" Nobody was near... Except for, "IRVINE! GET THAT STUPID CAMERA AWAY FROM ME!"

"Ahh!" Irvine squealed like a little girl when a big smelly hotdog was thrown at the camera. "ZELL!" Walking towards Zell with an angry look on his face Irvine soon walked away again when Zell raised another hotdog. _I guess it was only a hotdog... Won't do the camera any real damage... I hope._

When Zell had eventually calmed down Irvine trotted to Selphie who was catching up on her breath. "Phew! I thought I was gonna be a Selphie-dog back there!" She laughed but when she was turning to Irvine something or someone dressed in blue caught her eye. "Irvy look!"

"What?" Irvine asked, confused.

"Look!!" Selphie pointed out to the balcony. "We haven't gotten them on camera yet. Quick go out to them!!"

"Right, right!" Irvine said rushing out to the balcony, "Double-0-Kinneas is on the case!" A soft beep-beep could be heard when Irvine was walking toward the balcony. On the camera screen Rinoa stood there, dressed in her normal attire. "Selphie, what's this beeping noise?"

"Aww no!" Selphie stomped her foot. "Low battery!"

* * *

Woo-hoo! That's that finished. I'm sorry for all the spelling mistakes cause I really cannot be bothered revising this and I won't be on the site for a while. Anyways when I was playing the game the other day I was like, 'I wonder what they're saying...' And yep, you guessed it, that's where this came from.

I hope you enjoyed it. Please R&R. Till next time! :)


End file.
